simultaneously empowered and helpless

I hope you’ve never felt

sadness like a tube shoved

down your throat and through your insides that

inflates with attention

shoves your organs aside to

make room for itself, to

make room for its emptiness

I hope you’ve never had

your earlobes strung to your baby toes

your spine frozen and collapsed

your vision inside out, black, speckled, and

white noise growing between your ribs

I hope you’ve never wanted

to shred your throat

to pound your limbs until your bones were jelly

to mangle yourself and reach inside your chest

squeeze your heart until it oozes out

between your fingers