what I know

I don’t know a lot of things, like

whether Jesus really existed or whether Christianity is the only true religion or whether

I really ever believed in God or whether

he will let me go

 

but I know that I prayed

for my grandfather’s salvation for my entire life

and I know that he got cancer

and shot himself earlier this year

 

I know that people existed

before Christianity, and

when you ask a Christian where those people are going

they’ll tell you it’s in God’s hands and that he is a righteous judge

 

I know that the worth of a Christian

is nothing more or less than the worth of anyone else

but, somehow, they are worthy of eternal bliss

and everyone else is damned

 

I know I stayed up all night on my knees asking for answers

asking God why my friends would suffer and I would not

asking why Jesus bled and died but there are still more people going to hell

than every star in the celestial sphere

 

I know that I will never be able to have children

for fear that my inability to know all answers

could damn them to hell, because

apparently

God only

saves some of us.

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