I don’t trust myself.

Why is it that the emotion I feel so deeply is never verbally communicable?
I have such intense reactions in my gut but all that’s ever visible is my reaction to Spock or John Barrowman because that’s all I know how to show.
Language is so inefficient, and doesn’t work, and I cringe when I speak but I cringe when I don’t.
I think every emotion I try to convey comes out pathetic. I can’t tell you how much I love what you say.
When I don’t have anything good to say in response, it’s not because I don’t care.
It’s because I’d rather my voice were taken away from me so that you could lie in my lap and stare up at the ceiling and talk endlessly about yourself while you make hand motions at the ceiling.
I love your words. I just hate mine.


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