I Should Have Gotten High This Weekend

I’m only trying to find me when I trace sidewalks with my fingernails

I don’t know why I talked to her today but I needed something to get me by the dreary turn of the wheel

and I wanted to feel real even when I’m not blasting John Barrowman in my ears

I don’t feel anything unless it has to do with him

I have the weirdest feeling I won’t live long or I won’t get by

all I want to do is write fanfiction but I can’t and I also want to walk every street until I find a girl who will grant me freedom from my damnation

I want to fall asleep in the arms of this man in my earbuds but God still has hold of one foot and I can’t shake him loose and I don’t even think John can free me, much less a girl on the street

Sicah was always meant to be my friend

I only need to stop talking about myself

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