You Scream At Us And Then Wear Earplugs Every Night

the disappointment that gathers at the bottom of my heart when I look at you

is a lot more serious, I can tell you,

than what you felt when I asked if I could borrow paintbrushes

to help with the feminist club float

I wonder how you look in the mirror at the darkness growing in the corners of your eyes

and find another way to blame us for what you do

your apologies used to mean something to me but now I know

they’re earplugs to block out this screaming pain

and I hope one day you read this poem and you know

that every time I see you, it feels like my skin shrinks a little

and a thick black paste fills the gap between and

no words from your hollow fucking mouth can erase the things you’ve said to me

I want to throw up when I hear you talk

sooner than you think, I will walk out of here and thank your God I don’t have to live in the same house as you anymore

and someday I will find someone who loves me the way you never even tried to

and she will be a feminist

and we will buy our own paintbrushes and make art from the darkness that

people like you trapped inside of us

and you will never tell her one fucking thing about me

you fucking asshole

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