I don’t know how

to be so happy


all I can think

is lying down with Rachel curled against my back

Rebecca’s hair over my face

delicate breath against my skin

Miriam talking to me, fingers between mine, her voice

making vibrations through her body

all the way across to me

and Kira’s laugh shot sparkles

through my body in jagged lines

that I could never trace out on my own

oh, I wish I could inject myself

with Jenny’s unmatched enthusiasm

over animated swimming boys


if we were unspeakably insignificant, it was okay

because the grass cut into our feet

tiny pricks through the hard shell

we’re forced to develop back here

if we were condemned

to fall through the cracks of eternity

it was okay

because we called Chouinard home

and the people I live with here

aren’t my family anymore


it was okay there

because we were vaulted up past heaven’s gates

dodged the arms of God to find our souls

in the arms of each other


it was okay to die

because Marie wrote enough about stars

to make up for all our existential crises

Jesus, Marie, I would drink the blood

out of the fibers in your eyes

where it was settled

when you’d open your door


I wish I could live in the ledge

between my words and where I was

what I say can’t add up to what I felt

I want to sleep in that overlap

until our universe explodes

and CSSSA is spelled out perfectly in the dust

where destruction could not reach

and we can be together again

where we came from before


oh, you are my bits of heaven

I stole you off God’s grocery cart

I want to be with you again.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s